MUSIC: @vhvl - v
AH YES! the lovely and talented drops a quick little freestyle. I get so hype when she drops shit, she’s so dope!
the last time we spoke was in the parking lot of my apartment. we looked at my neighbors door for what seemed like hours sneaking glances at each other through every reflective surface that was there until the neighborhood feen tapped on your back window.
we laughed for about two minutes and forty seconds (or the duration of Talamak by Toro y Moi) about the situation after you ”handled it”.
before you leave we talked about astrology and how every lover (you & i) have ever had the pleasure of loving romanticized things like stars and pain compressing them to mere fractions of what they really are. oversimplifying them until they are just a gesture, like a swift breath on ones shoulders that travels
down their spine and passes their ribcage as it travels back up to their mouth passing the three freckles on the left side of their chin that mock constellations.
we both had to work early. so we exchanged solemn goodbyes.
every time we part i wish i could tell you how i feel and look you straight in the eyes. but every time i see you airplanes get stuck in my throat. i just hope you could see past my smile lines.
it is not quite summer
but the idea
of your tan skin
next to mines
excites all 206 bones
in my nutmeg covered body
that always feels like Sunday
in a night full of
spent with yours.
sounds like hello
and feels like
that gently tugs
at your heartstrings
then tiptoes away sweetly
leaving lingering goodbyes
that are different
each and every time
Let’s be honest here -
I am not the girl men fall in love with.
I am the girl that men want to fuck.
I am a conquest. A prize. A show.
I could count on five hundred fingers
the number of people that have professed,
“I like you. You’re different. You’re an interesting girl.”
Apparently I’m not fascinating enough for you
to want to hold for more than a one night stand.
as I finished swimming a sea of blankets
and got left stranded on the shore,
I asked myself:
What’s wrong with me?
What am I doing?
Am I not good enough for anybody?
And right before I could drown again,
the sun woke up and said,
You are enough.
Forget the men whose hands have groped your hips
in search for answers to questions
you’ve never even heard of.
Do not settle for people who do not appreciate you,
who do not know how lucky they are.
Remember it is a privilege to be loved by you,
or even just
to be touched by you, and
the warmth of another body does not define your worth.
These men -
they think that they can own you
with their drunken stares and roughened arms, but
I have circled the earth
a thousand times
to feed the light flowing inside your skin.
Do not waste it by illuminating those who
can not even be bothered
to learn your last name.”
So that night when
the moon tried once more to pin me down,
I told him:
I am made of sunlight, crashing waves, and fireworks.
You think you can tame me
and cool my flesh?
I am the girl who plays with matches,
and trust me I play it well.
Lord knows I’ve walked through villages leaving
a pile of destruction in my wake.
My heart is a bushfire
and the next time you try to control me,
darling, make no mistake -
I will burst out and ravage you in flames.
(This isn’t a test.)"